Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger

Some things happen for good. Some happen for worse. And life happens.

I have fucked up in life. So is you. And again so is almost everyone. At one point.

"If I knew what I know now when I was younger, ..." is a common classic liner we all have said at one time in lives, assuming we have matured enough. But subconsciously regretting it.

However, this is totally irrelevant as we learn everything on our own pace and time. And we are always trying to do our best or what's best for us at that time, to say the least.

Were you to acquire this knowledge earlier, it wouldn't even necessarily help you a such. Imagine, at a younger age, if you are told that keeping a standard routine will help you a lot later in life, you would have laughed at the silliness of that idea. You would just go ahead and play the play-station and watch your movies and hang out with your friends any time you felt like.

The world is an amazing place to fully live your life, but remember to always to be a better self the following day. Constantly.

At any rate, here are five important ones I’ve learned.

1. Privilege and luck will only get you a slap to the face

If you think the basis for getting the best things in life are simply because “you deserve it”, you probably don’t. Rather you work hard for things to get

Sorry, but life won’t hand you a higher paying job, a more fulfilling career, your dream partner, exciting adventures and explorations, fun hobbies, success, and many more amazing things because you think you’re privileged enough for it. NO. That's isn't the case.

If you want it, you have to go out and get it. End of story.Nothing less.

I used to think back when I was in the best high school in Kenya that my future was perfectly set and everything will run smooth. I was badly wrong. I learned how to toil and tame my challenges along the way. Still learning each new day.

2. Laziness is your major source of failure

People swear by failure through trying things, so they get scared and don’t. Or they plan to do things later. Too much postponement will only make matters worse. I’ve come to learn failure rears its nasty head in the form of taking no action and laziness.

So you’re afraid to fail, therefore you don’t move. But not making a step also leads to failure. I mean nothing new will happen to your life if you're scared to fail. On the contrary, your living standards may deteriorate...

Pick and choose your battles. Between not moving to avoid failure and moving to risk failure…only one of those situations leads to learning things. I think it’s obviously taking action is the better choice.

Trust me, regret is an ugly son of a bitch. It’ll eat you alive unless you learn to manage it. But I’ve got some good news — you can skip the part of management if you actually try the shit you want to try.

3. Decide early where you want to take your career

I’ve come to believe there are generally two types of people in life when it comes to careers (minus a few extenuating outliers):

1. Those who can put up with a job they don’t care for, but the money, success, and the fact they’re good at it makes them stick it out. They use their free time, outside of work, to define who they are through hobbies, friends, family, and more.
2. Those who can’t put up with a job they don’t care for, and they need to find a job which fulfills them and is attached to their identity.

Stop trying to be both. Stop being in denial about one or the other.

Try as early as you can to decide which way you want to go, and stick with it.

Otherwise, you’ll spend the majority of your 20’s (and even 30’s and beyond) in the same place. The worst is when you think you can handle #1, but you realize you’ve been living a soul-sucking existence and want to go to #2.

…*waves*

4. Build the right choices through the right habits

Where you are right now is the result of the choices you’ve made in your life.

The choices you’ve made are the result of the routines you’ve implemented.

The routines you’ve implemented are the result of the habits you’ve formed.

The habits you’ve formed are the result of your mindset.

Current situation → choices → routines → habits → mindset.

I floated through most of my 20’s. Wake up with just enough time to get dressed and go to work. Get home with just enough time to watch TV, fuck around, and socialize before bed. Repeat.

Float. Like a raft in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. No set direction. At the mercy of the winds (aka life).

Attack life. Set your situation. Develop the right choices, which come about through the right routines, which come about through the right habits.

5. Forfeit your attachment to things

This applies across a whole lot of things. Need a few examples?

I got you.

a. People

They come and go in your life. Friends, significant others, colleagues. Stop spending so much time on the wrong people when you know they probably don’t deserve to be in your life. Value the great ones though.

b. Bad jobs

You know deep down when a job isn’t right. When you’re younger, you can transition easily to another position. You aren’t in the tail-end of some career where you have to worry about not getting hired because of your age.

So go fucking experiment. Find a career that is at least somewhat fulfilling, or stick to something you can handle and define yourself outside of work.

c. Your fake unrealistic persona

I think we all spend a little time when we’re younger trying to be (or at least act) like someone we are not, either around people or alone.

Try to be the real you. Eventually, you’ll have to get there if you want to attract the right people, opportunities, and substance in your life.

The common problem is that advice is eagerly requested, willingly given and readily ignored. It's up to you.

Trust me, I’ll say it again — manage your regret.

Remember, as much as this list defines itself as “things you wish you knew”, take it with a grain of salt. Do the best you can, which is what we’re all “guilty” of. Learn from your mistakes. Manage your regret.