To The Girl Who Stole His Heart
I'd be lying if I told you that it was love, but I'd be lying also if I said it wasn't love...it was twisted, it was a twisted chemistry. Or was it lust? The thing is there were mutual feelings on both sides. But I'm not certain if they have been real from her side. Not even today. It's almost more than a year since then.
I vividly remember that exact moment we met-when you reached out to pass me coffee at a break on the 2nd day of the erasmus welcome week. While you were handing me the espresso, you looked up at me with those sparkling brown eyes, and smiled. It was just a split second, just a moment hidden between a hundred, billion other moments, and yet it's the one I keep replaying, the one i hold on to some late nights when the bed is warm and the darkness is full of regret and the unknown.
And over the next few days and weeks, the days which never seemed long enough, the days which would end in goodbyes and short trips back to rainy centre of Rome, away from the heat and the glistening Ostia beach, and the sight of your incredible brown sparkling eyes against your olive skin, we exchanged smiles,numbers and small talk, and looks so longing, I felt them throughout my entire body. Even your frıends began to grin whenever I found excuses to walk past the bar near the main campus, exchanging looks as if they too knew the spark which was burning between us, as if you were sixteen again telling them excitedly about me, about us.
It made me feel giddy, alive, electric. That feeling was totally unexplainable.
weeks passed on. we hanged out more. We laughed a lot and made a few cringe-worthy jokes. We laughed so much whenever we sat along the beautiful Tiber river and told each other our childhood memories. It seemed that we had a lot in common despite us growing up in two different continents. And we always hugged each other so tightly as we could feel the beats of our hearts.
I remember the first day when you didn't want me to go after we had an amazing dinner in your apartment and pulled me into the warmth of your chest and pressed your cheek to mine. Then we caressed for some time(I can't recall how long lol). What I remember is us looking into each other's eyes, you leaning while flipping your long blonde hair back and I lean in and kiss your warm lips. We pulled apart taking shaky, shallow breaths. Unable to containing ourselves anymore, I hold your head in my hands and pull you into a fiery, passionate kiss again... And the rest remains a history in our lives.
But you know what? I’m afraid I will never feel the way I did when I was with you. I’m afraid I will never feel as lively as I did with your eyes upon me. I’m afraid someone else’s presence won’t make me catch my breath. Because I’m beyond terrified of the absence of butterflies in my stomach, because I finally understand what it feels like to be addicted to person, a feeling, a moment.
Yet I know I have been a hopeless romantic since high school days. I have a tendency to fall for girls that are very hard to handle. But my feelings never went this deep before. and not even after. You set a standard so high and a feeling so deep that I couldn't see myself taking seriously for girls I have had an interest in.
And here I am, curled into an armchair in my favourite coffee shop in a beautiful city in Turkey, watching blue buses stop and start outside the window, and crowds of people sweating all over their bodies, battling the summer heat, writing about you- terrified that if I don’t, I’ll forget it all. Terrified I’ll forget how you made me feel. Here I am imagining your lips pressed to mine and how it would feel to wake beside you, tangled in your bed sheets, my arm lazily thrown across your chest, your hair on my face.
And you’re probably there, not thinking about me at all. But I hope you are, I hope you lose time, I hope you imagine a future where there isn’t a bar between us and friends stealing our attention. I hope you see me in your dreams.
I hope you remember it all, just like I do.
Just like I always will.
sei sempre un ricordo
And over the next few days and weeks, the days which never seemed long enough, the days which would end in goodbyes and short trips back to rainy centre of Rome, away from the heat and the glistening Ostia beach, and the sight of your incredible brown sparkling eyes against your olive skin, we exchanged smiles,numbers and small talk, and looks so longing, I felt them throughout my entire body. Even your frıends began to grin whenever I found excuses to walk past the bar near the main campus, exchanging looks as if they too knew the spark which was burning between us, as if you were sixteen again telling them excitedly about me, about us.
It made me feel giddy, alive, electric. That feeling was totally unexplainable.
weeks passed on. we hanged out more. We laughed a lot and made a few cringe-worthy jokes. We laughed so much whenever we sat along the beautiful Tiber river and told each other our childhood memories. It seemed that we had a lot in common despite us growing up in two different continents. And we always hugged each other so tightly as we could feel the beats of our hearts.
I remember the first day when you didn't want me to go after we had an amazing dinner in your apartment and pulled me into the warmth of your chest and pressed your cheek to mine. Then we caressed for some time(I can't recall how long lol). What I remember is us looking into each other's eyes, you leaning while flipping your long blonde hair back and I lean in and kiss your warm lips. We pulled apart taking shaky, shallow breaths. Unable to containing ourselves anymore, I hold your head in my hands and pull you into a fiery, passionate kiss again... And the rest remains a history in our lives.
But you know what? I’m afraid I will never feel the way I did when I was with you. I’m afraid I will never feel as lively as I did with your eyes upon me. I’m afraid someone else’s presence won’t make me catch my breath. Because I’m beyond terrified of the absence of butterflies in my stomach, because I finally understand what it feels like to be addicted to person, a feeling, a moment.
Yet I know I have been a hopeless romantic since high school days. I have a tendency to fall for girls that are very hard to handle. But my feelings never went this deep before. and not even after. You set a standard so high and a feeling so deep that I couldn't see myself taking seriously for girls I have had an interest in.
And here I am, curled into an armchair in my favourite coffee shop in a beautiful city in Turkey, watching blue buses stop and start outside the window, and crowds of people sweating all over their bodies, battling the summer heat, writing about you- terrified that if I don’t, I’ll forget it all. Terrified I’ll forget how you made me feel. Here I am imagining your lips pressed to mine and how it would feel to wake beside you, tangled in your bed sheets, my arm lazily thrown across your chest, your hair on my face.
And you’re probably there, not thinking about me at all. But I hope you are, I hope you lose time, I hope you imagine a future where there isn’t a bar between us and friends stealing our attention. I hope you see me in your dreams.
I hope you remember it all, just like I do.
Just like I always will.
sei sempre un ricordo
Yorumlar
Yorum Gönder
Please be considerate and respectful on your comments. Thank you!